so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
