I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
