I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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