oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
