what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Boobs are out for the taking
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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