Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Terrible idea I love it
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
