I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
