What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
