Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I have aggressive nipples.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize