do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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