Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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