so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
there is puke in my bra ... again
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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