Heybabeimwearingurpanties
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
In America we eat man semen.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
