There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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