the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize