Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize