i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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