WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
whose parrot is this?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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