why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
