Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
