Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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