so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
