Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
