girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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