the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
