I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
