You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
