I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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