Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
