If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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