I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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