Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Can vaginas get frostbite?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
