Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
