I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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