Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Less talking, more tequila
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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