I wanna passion pit in your ass
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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