fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
