So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
