But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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