her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
