Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I love having hate sex.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
