just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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