so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
