I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
