it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
