I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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