He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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