remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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