Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
