Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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