Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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