Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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