i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i love accidental penises.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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