I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
