areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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