He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Randomize
