btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize