yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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