Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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