what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
